what we feel
by gryffindor1235
Summary: what if Sirius was there for Harry when Harry thought he was Voldemort's weapon in The Order of the Pheonix


_Okay so I am pretty proud of this I enjoy writing harry Sirius father/son fanfictions. Please enjoy this story and comment fanfiction topics please because I will read and consider! Please enjoy!_

Harry was currently alone with Buckbeak in Buckbeak's room. He had been avoiding people ever since they got back from St. Mungo's that day. He couldn't risk putting all his friends and everyone who cared about him in danger. He was the weapon. He was what Voldemort needed to destroy so much and he wasn't going to let that happen.

Harry was stroking buckbeak when there was a knock at the door. He turned towards the door but didn't say anything.

"Harry I know you're in there," it was Sirius he was looking for Harry. "C'mon Harry I want to talk to you."

"I'm fine Sirius, go join everyone else they sound to be having fun down there," Harry sighed as he finished. Harry took out Buckbeak's loose feather. Sirius opened the door and joined Harry in stroking Buckbeak. Harry looked up at Sirius, but Sirius was looking down at buckbeak.

"Fine, I'll go down only if you come with me," Sirius looked straight at Harry and folded his arms over his chest. When Sirius looked at Harry, Harry could feel his face darken.

"I'm fine up here," mumbled Harry.

"Well then so am I," Sirius seemed in a very good mood, probably because he finally had people in his house other than Kreacher. "Now that I am up here please tell me Harry why you are avoiding everyone here, we are awfully worried."

"I told you already I'm fine," mumbled Harry. Although his face betrayed his words.

"You've hidden from everyone all week, you're not talking to me, and I have seen your dad's face enough to know when something is wrong, and unfortunately you have the same face as him." Sirius walked around Buckbeak and stood next to Harry.

"It's nothing Sirius! So just sod off and go enjoy the holidays!" Harry turned his back to Sirius and stroked Buckbeak again.

"Harry neither of us are leaving this room until you talk to me about what's bothering you!" Sirius snapped right back at Harry and stood in front of the door which Harry had been eyeing. Harry seeing no way out of this just decided to talk to Sirius.

"That weapon that you were saying Voldemort is after, well I'm the weapon Sirius. Voldemort wants to use me." Harry sounded quite devastated as he said this.

"What in Merlin's name would make you think that Harry?"

"Voldemort can invade my mind Sirius! He can see what the order is doing and all of our plans through me!" Harry now found that he really need to voice out his thoughts and needed to get them out of his head. "I don't want him to find Grimmauld Place and the order and you and everything. But with me Sirius he can! So if I stay up here and away from everyone he can't-"

"Harry you're not the weapon! Voldemort may be able to possess you but we're all ready to take the risk, we care about you Harry-" It was now Harry's turn to cut Sirius off.

"Sirius he can and he will come here and do whatever to the order and I'm not letting that happen!" Harry couldn't take it. How could Sirius not understand! "He will kill you Sirius! He will kill you just like he killed Cedric in that graveyard! And I am not letting that happen!"

"Is that what is upsetting you? Do you still think of that night in the graveyard?" Harry didn't answer but that was answer enough. Sirius who had been reclining back on the door now stood up and walked over to Harry.

"Not the night in the graveyard," mumbled Harry. "The fact that he killed Cedric because of me. And he can and will do that to you and anyone who cares about me."

Sirius went silent. Then he put an arm around Harry's shoulder's and pulled Harry close to his side.

"Harry if I die trying to help or protect you I will be more than satisfied with my death. I am sure almost everyone in the order feels the same way. Including Snape." Sirius gave Harry's shoulder's a squeeze but Harry continued to stare at the ground.

"Thanks," said Harry, who kept his gaze locked on the ground.

"You're still bothered aren't you?" Sirius could just tell Harry wasn't quite cured.

"So I'm not the weapon?" Harry's emerald eyes looked up at Sirius. Sirius just couldn't help but notice that Harry was still so young. He was only fifteen and never before had Sirius seen Harry look as young and innocent as he did right now.

"No Harry, I am extremely pleased to say that you are not," Sirius smiled down at Harry, and Harry gave a small smile back at Sirius.

"It's just… People. Everyone expects me to defeat Voldemort but if they don't believe me that he's back it's like ten times harder. You know what I'm saying?" Harry leaned more into Sirius enjoying the comforting position.

"Harry I promise you no matter what we'll get through it." With that Sirius pulled Harry into a hug which Harry did not oblige to. Harry put his head on Sirius's should and Sirius put his chin on the top of Harry's head. And they stayed like that for who knows how long. But Harry didn't care, infact everything negative was washed from his mind. At the moment he didn't care about the war coming up, he just wanted to enjoy this moment with Sirius.

_Thanks for reading this! I think its pretty good if I do say so myself (And I do). Please review! OH and I Will take suggestions of other fanfiction ideas! Thank you!_


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